The Tutorial Skipper
Skippus impatiens
Appearance
Visible only briefly. If you blink too slowly you will not notice them, as the fins are moving too fast. Recognizable by the speed and decisiveness with which they dismiss any tutorial or tooltip placed in their path. Both eyes sit on the same side of the head, and both are trained on the Skip button.
Habitat
First-time onboarding flows. Welcome modals. Tooltip tours. The Tutorial Skipper has a particular affinity for any element labeled "Skip," "Maybe later," or the small X in the corner.
Field notes
The Tutorial Skipper has used many products and is confident this one will not be different. Thus, it believes it definitely does not need the tutorial. The naturalist has frequently seen the same Skipper return, eight minutes later, lost on the exact feature the tutorial was attempting to introduce.
Resolution
A handful of Skippers figure it out by clicking around. Most file a support ticket asking how to do the thing the tutorial would have explained.
Hazards observed
A tutorial that is too long. Tooltips that obscure the interface they're describing. A "Welcome" modal that is the only path into setup.
If you spot one
A high skip rate on onboarding tells you nothing by itself. What matters is whether the Skippers activate anyway, and plenty of them do. A Monitor scanner catches sessions that dismissed onboarding in under five seconds, so save them as a cohort and set it beside your activation numbers. If they activate, your onboarding is optional and you can cut it down. If they do not, you have found the people to win back and the feature to win them back with, since it is the one the tutorial was trying to show them.